new side site

I've got a new site for you all. I'm a piggy bank girl now too. Just trying to get things started got more pictures i need to take and more videos i need to do as well as prizes. Donations are still welcome I need to get this laptop fixed it's starting to give me a headache having to strain past the breaking plasma since the screen broke and now it flickers and goes fuzzy like every few seconds.

My Daddy's Collar

I'm a happy girl today. No I haven't found a new job yet but I'm still looking. Still putting in applications. on New Years my Daddy gave me my first collar. He made it himself and I never took it off except to shower. One day I woke up and it was broken. there were beads all on my pillow and bed. I asked a friend to fix it and she did adding feathers to replace the beads that were missing that at one time dangled from the front of it. I loved it but when I put it on and tucked the feathers in my shirt they kept popping out and getting in my way so I had to stop wearing it yet again v.v

Today i found a charm, a pair of feathers!!! it was on a necklace I already had that I didn't know about so I took those feathers off the necklace and put it on my collar. Here's the results!!! I'm so proud of myself and a happy butterfly now

Another day

My server keeps going out on me while i'm in the middle of my video chat. I've been working a club as a bartender but every time i turn around i'm getting criticized and yelled at. "watch what you're eating" "do this" then sometimes later that same day "why are you doing that do this". "wear things like this" "that looks good on you" couple days later i wear similar "you need to put a shirt on over that why are you wearing that" "do it this way" hours later "do that this way" "that's too small why are you wearing that" "you look homeless dress better" when everyone knows that tattered jeans are all the rage. it's not like i'm going through wearing see through shirts and dresses with no bra or panties on beneath like many of the customers do. This happens on a daily basis and people wonder why i seem upset or distant and not as cheerful as i used to be. this isn't easy to deal with. Some say that this is emotional abuse, i've been hearing these things all my life. literally. i end up walking away and crying. i want to yell, i want to scream, i want to punch someone or something. because of all the complaints and downtalking i've wanted to run away. i've wanted to hurt myself. i haven't done any of that. i've only ended up crying. then i get yelled at for crying. "if you can't control your emotions and yourself then how can you control your children" how can i control my children when i'm not at home to do so because i'm out doing what i can to earn tips trying to make a living on that in order to pay the bills and rent and well, i'm behind because i'm not earning enough. i'm trying, i'm doing the best i can as a single mother but i'm constantly being told to buy this and do that and i just don't have the money to do so. i've even been told to take the kids to the park, by time i walk them there they'd be tired and wouldn't want to do anything at all so the point of doing that would be, well, no point. That's why I've turned here, turned to doing this, turned to becoming a cam model. It's not why i joined the lifestyle. That, was because no matter what I do i have no control over anything and everything i try to keep things structured, a schedule to follow. life is so much easier and better. That's what i liked about the navy there was a schedule. That's what i try to keep in my house, a structured schedule. That's one of the wonderful things of having a Daddy Dom. of being in the lifestyle. structure. yes there's pain, delicious pain but it gets rid of the pain and the voices in my head. it makes them quiet. then i can think. then i can do. i love my Daddy with all my heart and soul and it's not anything like stolkholm Those who don't understand the lifestyle, who think it's all 50 shades bs, throwing a virgin into a situation uninformed that she does not understand that is abuse. For me, a good flogging is much like electroshock therapy that a doctor would prescribe. a release from the pain, from the stress without having to worry about what comes next for once. Well everyone have a good day/night luvs ya and don't forget to check out my sites

today's fun

As of today i've gotten more hits on my clip site than i normally do and the day's just barely half over yay me! I know that Daddy's proud and happy. or will be once he sees it. the internet in which i'm using is going so very slow today *sighs* i feel like a snail trying to get anything done. Anyways I've had people ask me before the all time question for women, how do you care for, you know, down there? Shave, wax, trim? I reveled my secret to remaining hair free and smooth as a baby's bottom ^^ Normally I'm not going through and doing like tutorials of any kind or product showing but i just absolutely love my Keimi. instead of spending hundreds of dollars every month to wax hair grows back less and less doing it myself with the ease of an electric razor while still pulling out hair from the root.

That aside i know people like me don't like doing alot of things alone or by themselves. Soooo I'm thinking of taking cue from the Japanese and making some videos along those lines. Maybe not ones of me eating but... sometimes it's nice even believing that someone is there while you're sleeping or just waking up. some people do like watching other's sleep that's on them. I know I miss Daddy's voice and feeling his body against mine when i'm going to sleep or waking up myself so who's to say that i'm the only person that's just that lonely that even having a recording of him saying "goodnight baby girl i love you" or "good morning sweet pea it's time to start the day" I know i've slept better when accidently falling asleep while talking to him on the phone than i do when i'm not talking to him on the phone.

Oh, Opinion needed here. a friend of mine and I was thinking of making a lifestyle based club in the local area. Any ideas or suggestions? Do any of you have one around you and what's involved there? What kinds of things do they do and venues happen there? We're in this town that's rather stuck up but I know for fact there are a ton and i mean a ton of lifestylers here and there's no place for us at all but getting the city to approve is the issue so that's why i'm looking into having a plan 100% formulated that will knock their socks off.