Spanking thoughts

oh.... my ......... gods

some people can be so...... what's the word...... stupid?

Had a guy in my chat today that went on and on about camel whips and how great they are. Even to the
point of saying that with other things i had suggested would rip flesh as well as "Those Arabs know how to
whip their wives' asses" 

Where does nationality come into play? Someone please tell me what nationality has to do with anything? 

This is a camel whip. 

And a few things i suggested. A bullwhip 

a horse whip/riding crop 

Paddle

He actually went through and said that a camel whip would not rip flesh while other methods would. Now

 please tell me looking at the above pictures what would rip flesh if done improperly. I know for fact that just 

by looking at the camel whip it would rip flesh. 

Now if i'm wrong with this please forgive me. Either way i personally think that anything used wrong would 

rip flesh. Even the paddle. Even a spoon for that matter. 

If I'm wrong in this please someone correct me and explain how. 

Until next time. Happy 4th of July and I hope everyone has a pleasant day!!

I love surprises!

I had gotten a very nice surprise yesterday. I have a very extensive wish list on Amazon that is alwaysgetting edited and added to depending on what I find interesting and what people suggest that I do on my sites. 

Someone had found my wish list and I don't know everything that was bought on it as of yet but I did get a package In the mail.

I was a good girl and didn't open it right away but waited. It was not easy to just wait because I wanted to open it right then and there. 

But it totally paid off!!! Thank you so very much Nathan I absolutely love them!!!!!

filming and editing

I think the absolute worst part of making videos and clips is the editing.

This isn't supposed to be there,

*remove*

That isn't supposed to be there

*remove*

Now the sound is all in the completely wrong spot

*try to adjust it to the right places*

ugh it is soooooooo annoying. I understand why people get paid big bucks to do it, especially going frame by frame by frame to make sure everything flows smoothly but I just can't seem to get it down right.

Not to mention the fact that I don't have the type of money an editor wants in order to pay someone else to do it for me so until then we just gotta stick with my sloppy editing.

Hmmmmmm Maybe I can find someone to volunteer? Would that be possible? But would they be willing and able to edit 30+ minutes of video and have it ready to post for sale by the next day?

Most likely not and there lies my ultimate problem.

I'm trying I really am but as much as people think it's easy "Oh you just put make up on, dress skanky and get in front of a camera" It is totally not. It takes real time and real effort to be able to actually do anything especially if you're doing it on your own.

Anyways, Thanks for letting me vent, I hope things pick up and then I'll be able to afford someone else to actually edit my stuff for me. Maybe... Hopefully... Wish me luck!

Doll play

Had lots of fun tonight, I got to play as a Doll!!

Meaning I didn't really have to do much other than the few times I was told to do something specific like blow a kiss *giggles*

Other than that I stood or knelt while being dressed and undressed by Absolem, my Dom. One of the dresses he put me in is my cute little leopard print dress with thigh high black stockings and pink panties with black lace on the edges as well as a see through heart on the back of them.

I, myself, definately look forward to doing more shows like that one.

I know we got a bunch of viewers and hopefully a few followers out of it as well.

Tomorrow we're planning on doing some rope play. Don't forget to come and check it out at 10pm CST!!

https://www.cam4.com/bbybutterfly

Long Day and new photos

Got up this morning, got dressed, did my hair

[gasps]

did my makeup

And got on camera. Even gave myself a quick mani pedi. Still everyone wants things for free. I'll get up and twirl around but you're not seeing more without paying. So many free sites out there, not enough people willing to pay. Why does everyone want to give all the goods away for free? How can anyone afford to?

So........

While waiting for people to come in, hopefully with money, I decided to play around with my camera.

I did my own mini photo shoot. A total of over 50 pictures and they're all up on my image site. I hope you all enjoy them.

Kisses

My Daddy's Collar

I'm a happy girl today. No I haven't found a new job yet but I'm still looking. Still putting in applications. on New Years my Daddy gave me my first collar. He made it himself and I never took it off except to shower. One day I woke up and it was broken. there were beads all on my pillow and bed. I asked a friend to fix it and she did adding feathers to replace the beads that were missing that at one time dangled from the front of it. I loved it but when I put it on and tucked the feathers in my shirt they kept popping out and getting in my way so I had to stop wearing it yet again v.v

Today i found a charm, a pair of feathers!!! it was on a necklace I already had that I didn't know about so I took those feathers off the necklace and put it on my collar. Here's the results!!! I'm so proud of myself and a happy butterfly now

Another day

My server keeps going out on me while i'm in the middle of my video chat. I've been working a club as a bartender but every time i turn around i'm getting criticized and yelled at. "watch what you're eating" "do this" then sometimes later that same day "why are you doing that do this". "wear things like this" "that looks good on you" couple days later i wear similar "you need to put a shirt on over that why are you wearing that" "do it this way" hours later "do that this way" "that's too small why are you wearing that" "you look homeless dress better" when everyone knows that tattered jeans are all the rage. it's not like i'm going through wearing see through shirts and dresses with no bra or panties on beneath like many of the customers do. This happens on a daily basis and people wonder why i seem upset or distant and not as cheerful as i used to be. this isn't easy to deal with. Some say that this is emotional abuse, i've been hearing these things all my life. literally. i end up walking away and crying. i want to yell, i want to scream, i want to punch someone or something. because of all the complaints and downtalking i've wanted to run away. i've wanted to hurt myself. i haven't done any of that. i've only ended up crying. then i get yelled at for crying. "if you can't control your emotions and yourself then how can you control your children" how can i control my children when i'm not at home to do so because i'm out doing what i can to earn tips trying to make a living on that in order to pay the bills and rent and well, i'm behind because i'm not earning enough. i'm trying, i'm doing the best i can as a single mother but i'm constantly being told to buy this and do that and i just don't have the money to do so. i've even been told to take the kids to the park, by time i walk them there they'd be tired and wouldn't want to do anything at all so the point of doing that would be, well, no point. That's why I've turned here, turned to doing this, turned to becoming a cam model. It's not why i joined the lifestyle. That, was because no matter what I do i have no control over anything and everything i try to keep things structured, a schedule to follow. life is so much easier and better. That's what i liked about the navy there was a schedule. That's what i try to keep in my house, a structured schedule. That's one of the wonderful things of having a Daddy Dom. of being in the lifestyle. structure. yes there's pain, delicious pain but it gets rid of the pain and the voices in my head. it makes them quiet. then i can think. then i can do. i love my Daddy with all my heart and soul and it's not anything like stolkholm Those who don't understand the lifestyle, who think it's all 50 shades bs, throwing a virgin into a situation uninformed that she does not understand that is abuse. For me, a good flogging is much like electroshock therapy that a doctor would prescribe. a release from the pain, from the stress without having to worry about what comes next for once. Well everyone have a good day/night luvs ya and don't forget to check out my sites

Birthday came and went, things are still coming in the mail though. I got a new bra, shirt, a couple of dancers scarves, some hair accessories for my unruly mane that i had dyed burgandy which i've gotten many compliments on. I got a new little tail, and little isn't an understatement on that but now I have an idea of how to make one. now to find my glue gun and get a plug or two. there's more things coming too, a nail kit where i can start doing gel here at home and NOT pay 50$ for someone else to do them (not that i paid that amount anyways and my nails are all natural just trying to get them to grow better) A foot roller that gets off the caluses, those are slowly going away too a bit every day and one of those electronic tweezers because i don't like shaving and getting hair out by the root can almost guarantee that it doesn't return again. big plans for that since i hate hair in certain places so very much. hmm is that it? i'm thinking so, at least for now anyways.

I'm missing my Daddy something fierce and so wish that he was still here. his birthday is in only a few days but i don't have the money to be able to go and see him which makes me sad. i curl up every night with cinniman under the blankie that he left here. he says it was an accident but i'm not stupid because he tucked it all around me before saying that he had to leave. i know he left it here so that i could curl up in it. i miss him very much it's hard not having him here and i pray that he returns soon.

ended up having someone tell me that i didn'[t need him just because he doesn't pay all my bills. Daddy helps when and where he can but why should he pay for everything when he doesn't live with me? he's not a sugar daddy. when he was here i hardly had to pay for anything and we kinna fought over it. i think he ended up seeing that i am not out for his money but i do truly love him and that i do with all my heart and soul.

When the snuggles are gone...

Decided to surprise My babygirl for her birthday and boy did she love it!!! I had a great time too and cannot wait to go back, this time hopefully to stay. We took some pictures, made a couple videos (though one had a watermark all over it, we'll fix that eventually when we buy the licence for the video editing software), she even got tied up by me, not my best work but not half bad for a quick bind if I do say so myself. Hope you all enjoy, it was a lot of fun making it, started as a pampering session me treating her like a princess and ended in some fun for us both. ;)

*He sighs* To say the least I miss her and if I could I'd just pick up and move I would, but things are never that easy and other matters require my attention as well. Soon though I hope, my next visit will be my last visit as I'll be there to stay.

Well, a bit depressed right now but I'll manage knowing that My bbg is there, that's all I have for now. Hope you all enjoy, more videos to come.

I miss my Daddy we had so much fun while he was here. I even got tied up!!!

We made a video and i finally got it edited and uploaded, hope I did it right, had another one but it had a watermark all over it cause i hadn't bought the license for it yet. One day I will. That's a guarantee in that. Enjoy everyone and more to come. just a bit depressed right now because he had to go back. there's some things he needs to take care of first before he can move here. well until next time.