I love surprises!

I had gotten a very nice surprise yesterday. I have a very extensive wish list on Amazon that is alwaysgetting edited and added to depending on what I find interesting and what people suggest that I do on my sites. 

Someone had found my wish list and I don't know everything that was bought on it as of yet but I did get a package In the mail.

I was a good girl and didn't open it right away but waited. It was not easy to just wait because I wanted to open it right then and there. 

But it totally paid off!!! Thank you so very much Nathan I absolutely love them!!!!!

filming and editing

I think the absolute worst part of making videos and clips is the editing.

This isn't supposed to be there,

*remove*

That isn't supposed to be there

*remove*

Now the sound is all in the completely wrong spot

*try to adjust it to the right places*

ugh it is soooooooo annoying. I understand why people get paid big bucks to do it, especially going frame by frame by frame to make sure everything flows smoothly but I just can't seem to get it down right.

Not to mention the fact that I don't have the type of money an editor wants in order to pay someone else to do it for me so until then we just gotta stick with my sloppy editing.

Hmmmmmm Maybe I can find someone to volunteer? Would that be possible? But would they be willing and able to edit 30+ minutes of video and have it ready to post for sale by the next day?

Most likely not and there lies my ultimate problem.

I'm trying I really am but as much as people think it's easy "Oh you just put make up on, dress skanky and get in front of a camera" It is totally not. It takes real time and real effort to be able to actually do anything especially if you're doing it on your own.

Anyways, Thanks for letting me vent, I hope things pick up and then I'll be able to afford someone else to actually edit my stuff for me. Maybe... Hopefully... Wish me luck!

Doll play

Had lots of fun tonight, I got to play as a Doll!!

Meaning I didn't really have to do much other than the few times I was told to do something specific like blow a kiss *giggles*

Other than that I stood or knelt while being dressed and undressed by Absolem, my Dom. One of the dresses he put me in is my cute little leopard print dress with thigh high black stockings and pink panties with black lace on the edges as well as a see through heart on the back of them.

I, myself, definately look forward to doing more shows like that one.

I know we got a bunch of viewers and hopefully a few followers out of it as well.

Tomorrow we're planning on doing some rope play. Don't forget to come and check it out at 10pm CST!!

https://www.cam4.com/bbybutterfly

so what?!?!

So what if I'm fat, I don't have the luxury of being able to get surgery to get rid of it. I exercise, I eat healthy and it's still there.

So what if I'm not your perfect skinny little piece of wood that has no tits and can't even get a cock half way in her mouth without choking to near death.

So what if you think I'm ugly. There's many who think I'm the most beautiful in the world.

Whoop de doo you pay money to a site that DOES NOT PAY ME FOR MY TIME AND EFFORT TO EARN MONEY. I don't have the money to spend to get "VIP" treatment and treat everyone else like they're trash.

WE ARE ALL PEOPLE!

It doesn't matter if you're fat, thin, short, tall, black, white, red, yellow.

WE ARE ALL HUMAN!

There is no such thing as perfection.

WE ARE NOT ROBOTS!

We are flesh and blood and who ever you think the higher power is, God, Allah, Vishnu, The Triple Goddess and the Horned God, They made EVERYONE! Which means they made me just as they made you.

SO WHAT?

I hear it constantly about racism, discrimination, etc etc etc. I LIVE IT. Why? Because I'm a heavier white woman in an area that is full of Hispanics and African Americans. My family helped the Chinese work the railroads and build them. My family had their lands taken from them and thrown into tiny little camps WHERE THEY STILL LIVE TODAY while everyone else still has control of their own continents and countries inside of them.

SHUT UP ALREADY! And learn to think of something else besides putting someone else down because they don't have what you do. help build them up to make yourself and them better.

Another day another dollar and a couple more images

I know my posting isn't always on par and regular but I'm an irregular person plain and simple.

Anyways a new update I've yet another site, this one is similar to clips4sale but live. It's called cam4 and you can find me there as  well as my usual bbwcams  and then there's my twitter @babybutterfly83, C4S, I4S, and that's all I can think of in that part of life.

I haven't been able to have any fun to add to my c4s because well no one's wanted to take me in private on BBW or cam4 just yet sadly enough but hopefully soon so that I can add new vid clips and I would love to be able to take some pictures for I4S as well. If you have any suggestions as to what I can do for my pics then let me know what you'd like to see and how you'd like to see me dressed up.

That's all I can think of for now. If you join me on Cam4 don't forget to subscribe so that you can keep updated on when I'm going to be on so you can come see me.

Thank you, everyone. Again just lemme know below what you'd like to see me do and how you'd like to see me dress and maybe I'll make an image set or video just for you

Another day another dollar and a couple more images

I know my posting isn't always on par and regular but I'm an irregular person plain and simple.

Anyways a new update I've yet another site, this one is similar to clips4sale but live. It's called cam4 and you can find me there as  well as my usual bbwcams  and then there's my twitter @babybutterfly83, C4S, I4S, and that's all I can think of in that part of life.

I haven't been able to have any fun to add to my c4s because well no one's wanted to take me in private on BBW or cam4 just yet sadly enough but hopefully soon so that I can add new vid clips and I would love to be able to take some pictures for I4S as well. If you have any suggestions as to what I can do for my pics then let me know what you'd like to see and how you'd like to see me dressed up.

That's all I can think of for now. If you join me on Cam4 don't forget to subscribe so that you can keep updated on when I'm going to be on so you can come see me.

Thank you, everyone. Again just lemme know below what you'd like to see me do and how you'd like to see me dress and maybe I'll make an image set or video just for you

"cute"

So i'm sitting there for hours on cam waiting for people to come in my room so that hopefully I can help fill a video fantasy or what not. People come in and people go out. Some sit and chat others watch. Many ask me to get up and do various things. Not a single tip.

Kinda makes me feel like I'm just somethin to toy with.

"i'm so small make a circle with your hands"

"stand up and turn around for me. bend over while your at it"

"guess my weight, my waist is 'x' inches and i'm only 'x' inches tall"

The questions and me having to do things go on for hours.

Not a single penny. Even a trained monkey gets more and they don't interact as much.

One person claimed to be shorter than the guiness holder "world's smallest man" who died in 2015.


You want to use my time and just sit there and annoy me then please, give me some spare change at least. I'm not a shrink. You wanna do a little roleplay I've got no problems being a giantess but come on compensate me I'm trying to work here.

Another day

My server keeps going out on me while i'm in the middle of my video chat. I've been working a club as a bartender but every time i turn around i'm getting criticized and yelled at. "watch what you're eating" "do this" then sometimes later that same day "why are you doing that do this". "wear things like this" "that looks good on you" couple days later i wear similar "you need to put a shirt on over that why are you wearing that" "do it this way" hours later "do that this way" "that's too small why are you wearing that" "you look homeless dress better" when everyone knows that tattered jeans are all the rage. it's not like i'm going through wearing see through shirts and dresses with no bra or panties on beneath like many of the customers do. This happens on a daily basis and people wonder why i seem upset or distant and not as cheerful as i used to be. this isn't easy to deal with. Some say that this is emotional abuse, i've been hearing these things all my life. literally. i end up walking away and crying. i want to yell, i want to scream, i want to punch someone or something. because of all the complaints and downtalking i've wanted to run away. i've wanted to hurt myself. i haven't done any of that. i've only ended up crying. then i get yelled at for crying. "if you can't control your emotions and yourself then how can you control your children" how can i control my children when i'm not at home to do so because i'm out doing what i can to earn tips trying to make a living on that in order to pay the bills and rent and well, i'm behind because i'm not earning enough. i'm trying, i'm doing the best i can as a single mother but i'm constantly being told to buy this and do that and i just don't have the money to do so. i've even been told to take the kids to the park, by time i walk them there they'd be tired and wouldn't want to do anything at all so the point of doing that would be, well, no point. That's why I've turned here, turned to doing this, turned to becoming a cam model. It's not why i joined the lifestyle. That, was because no matter what I do i have no control over anything and everything i try to keep things structured, a schedule to follow. life is so much easier and better. That's what i liked about the navy there was a schedule. That's what i try to keep in my house, a structured schedule. That's one of the wonderful things of having a Daddy Dom. of being in the lifestyle. structure. yes there's pain, delicious pain but it gets rid of the pain and the voices in my head. it makes them quiet. then i can think. then i can do. i love my Daddy with all my heart and soul and it's not anything like stolkholm Those who don't understand the lifestyle, who think it's all 50 shades bs, throwing a virgin into a situation uninformed that she does not understand that is abuse. For me, a good flogging is much like electroshock therapy that a doctor would prescribe. a release from the pain, from the stress without having to worry about what comes next for once. Well everyone have a good day/night luvs ya and don't forget to check out my sites

When the snuggles are gone...

Decided to surprise My babygirl for her birthday and boy did she love it!!! I had a great time too and cannot wait to go back, this time hopefully to stay. We took some pictures, made a couple videos (though one had a watermark all over it, we'll fix that eventually when we buy the licence for the video editing software), she even got tied up by me, not my best work but not half bad for a quick bind if I do say so myself. Hope you all enjoy, it was a lot of fun making it, started as a pampering session me treating her like a princess and ended in some fun for us both. ;)

*He sighs* To say the least I miss her and if I could I'd just pick up and move I would, but things are never that easy and other matters require my attention as well. Soon though I hope, my next visit will be my last visit as I'll be there to stay.

Well, a bit depressed right now but I'll manage knowing that My bbg is there, that's all I have for now. Hope you all enjoy, more videos to come.

I miss my Daddy we had so much fun while he was here. I even got tied up!!!

We made a video and i finally got it edited and uploaded, hope I did it right, had another one but it had a watermark all over it cause i hadn't bought the license for it yet. One day I will. That's a guarantee in that. Enjoy everyone and more to come. just a bit depressed right now because he had to go back. there's some things he needs to take care of first before he can move here. well until next time. 

Happy birthday to me!!!

Had a MAJOR surprise come up. My Daddy showed up waaaaaay early for my birthday! Such a wonderful surprise it was. He make me a cheesecake too. I love cheesecake but I love my Daddy more! We even made our first video so keep an eye out for it on my cam site. Hope y'all like it too.  It was totally fun to make and hopefully get to make at least one more before he has to leave tomorrow. I'm going to miss him but he brought me a new stuffie

and a new shirt that says "I'm grumpy because you're dopey" for all those who say i look grumpy and mean. But i'm totally happy that I got to see him and that he came up to visit me. I snuck a picture while he was giving me a kiss before i lost my train of thought like he always makes me do with his kiss. He's the absolute best Daddy in the world I don't care what anyone else says. They can say theirs is the best but no mine is! even if he does live so far away. Hopefully our taxes come in soon and fingers crossed there's enough for me to buy my house and for him to move here indefinitely! Well lotsa love and until next time. (I'm gonna try and convince him to tie me up and take some pics before he has to leave so keep an eye out for those too)

I was already thinking of doing that tonight soooo, lets get you off your computer and tied up nice and pretty princess.- Butterfly's Daddy 

a new month, a new goal

i've got a new goal now. to try and get 100$ in a single month instead of over a series of months. That's a good goal to have i would think. at least an extra hundred could help pay a bill or two. just trying to get by anyways it's not as easy as people would think.

Work, my cam, the problem is trying to get people to watch. i need to make more videos but no one wants to watch in order to get the cash because everyone wants free instead of to pay. it's rather annoying. especially when the server keeps resetting. that's the most annoying part and feature really. but i can't seem to get it to stop. i can sit for hours infront of the camera and no one comes into my chat room. or looks at my other site. maybe i'm going about it all wrong? i don't know really. it's the most annoying thing ever in truth. more annoying than stepping on legos

Society is going completely downhill it seems.

so many people want things for free now days. they want everything for free. They don't seem to understand that some are just trying to earn a living no matter what we have to do in order to do it. Rent, bills, not everything comes easy and this definitely isn't easy. Being a cam girl is harder than people think it is for the fact we have to have confidence. Confidence that we are beautiful. We are wanted. Needed. That someone out there would actually want to not only look at us but want to be with or do things to us wither it's just watch us masturbate or actually fuck us for lack of better terms. Yeah we look pretty with a cock in our mouths, we're prettier than just for that too. We are more than something to fantasize about.

You have your fantasies but we have ours as well. You want to go through and look and wish and desire but in those you never want to reveal to your real life and everyone else that you prefer a woman who has some meat on their bones compared to how modern society sees beauty? You go through and have sex with your gorgeous size 3 gf but in your mind you're thinking of that size 16+ that you saw on the camera. Your gf isn't the size you actually desire because you're afraid to go against society. You don't want everyone to know that you like having some meat to hold onto.

What is it with people today? They want the benefits without having to go through and do everything that they need to keep. People now are just looking for the quick and easy fuck it seems. No one actually wants to take time for relationships. What's the point because you won't actually be happy because it's not what you want.

This i've noticed about society. Not specific to any particular race or culture. Just society in general. It's a world of "gimme gimme gimme." A world of nothing is ever good enough because it's not the absolute best and it's not actually free.

Well anyone can watch me for free, i'm not taking my clothes off though. You can see me for free but you're not going to see exactly how large my breasts and nipples are. You can look at me for free but you're never going to see wither i shave, wax, trim or let my hair grow naturally.

http://justbbwcams.com/sililos/model/75eb4be73c637504d97a33f6bc1cfa064bc35b59
http://clips4sale.com/94167
http://images4sale.com/94167
https://twitter.com/babybutterfly83

for the women who want to become like me? The best place to get started
http://justbbwcams.com/pp/75eb4be73c637504d97a33f6bc1cfa064bc35b59

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new sites in progress

Yes, it's been quite a bit slow, i had lost internet shortly after my first and last session sadly. but on a good note, I was able to get a new place up with a friend's help. now to just get some more pics and videos in order for it to be fully running and people can buy instead of just browse. Wish me luck.

http://images4sale.com/94167

http://clips4sale.com/94167

My First Week

I've been a cam girl now for a week. It's not exactly easy but it's not tough either honestly. I was given the information to become one from a friend of mine because he heard of the troubles i was going through trying to pay rent and bills as a single mom living off tips. 

Being a cam girl is kind of similar in the fact that I'm having to convince people why they should want to look at me on cam. Mostly what I do currently is free shows, trying to build up followers is not the easiest thing in the world let alone building up ones that are willing to pay anything. 

Most think it's easy money, it's alot easier than talking to people in person (for an introvert) and I'm honest with people such as my few friends that I have (which surprisingly I've not lost anyone as a friend yet because of this) Actually I've had some suggest I switch to more popular sites but being a bigger girl and having always been self conscious about my weight I don't feel capable of competing with the skinnier girls on those sites. But the few friends I have understand why I'm doing this and how hard it is to work around one job and kids school. 

Well if anyone actually reads this then I may as well. Here's my profile Maybe I'll be on when you go and check it out and you can come see me in my (chat) room ;)